The Fresh and Frisky Years: III

Welcome to chapter number 3 of the Fresh and Frisky Years. You can read chapter 1 and chapter 2 if you want, but it's not necessary to understand this one. Although I enjoy writing this spin-off, I can't wait till it's done. After I finish I will start writing about dating behavior and sexual freedom on Wednesdays.

I hope you like it.

-0-

Today, while reviewing the facts, I have no clue why I dated this guy for so long. I guess I just told myself that the bad things weren't so bad after all. Maybe I wasn't experienced enough to put it all in perspective and realize that I could get someone else and better.

That I didn't have to put up with his bad smell, worse hygiene and creeping family.

We met during one of my first nights out. I was at a bar with my best friend. She had put on loads of make up, hoping that the make up would make up for the three years she was lacking for spirited drinks. I just felt all awkward and shy.

Man, am I happy I left those years behind.

There wasn't a smoking prohibition in bars back then, and that really made wonders for him. It made me miss his odour. If I hadn't, I would never have wanted to see him back.

On our first date we went to the cinema. Sitting close and silent was when I first noticed his scent. I could immediately identify fossilized sweat as being the main constituent.

"Oh, well" I thought "Maybe it's just today". I wish it had been just that day, or at least just the smell.

Some dates later we went to the zoo together. We had a great time there, somehow I just love the zoo. I love the zoo, enjoy baking and have a sex blog.

...

Anyways, on a certain moment that day we entered the Gorilla World.

It was a small, dark passage around a glass cage where two gorillas lived. I got horny. There, in the dark, I started touching him. He immediately went along and soon we were entering the the Gorilla World toilets. This was gonna be the second time we had sex together.

Once inside of the cubicle, I knelled down and unzipped his pants. I was aware that he had a bad smell, but I was not prepared for what hit me when I lowered his underwear that day.

Suddenly, a dense smegma fog filled all the space around us.

Well, of course there was no real fog but you get what I mean. This guy was uncut, and since he didn't believe in hygiene, days and days of sperm, urine, and other delicacies were reaching me through my nose. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised, we were in the Gorilla World after all.

I tried to ignore it and still blow him, limiting myself to the very tip of his dick. That part at least looked clean. But I just couldn't. The smell was too strong and I was besides terrified some of that stuff would accidentally slip inside my mouth.

“I didn't know you've been to Africa” I said.

He looked puzzled.”Well, I haven't. Why would I?”

“Oh well, I was just trying to guess what's the reason you are keeping all of this in your foreskin. Did you know some African's tribe men smear it behind their ears to attract women?”

Of course he didn't take this very good. What can I say, maybe my mind was all hazy by the poisonous gases. Some days later we made up and he promised to take better care of that aspect.

Well, that front at least was covered from that moment on. But it still got worse.


One or two weeks later we went last base. It was kind of alright. Not very special, but fun.The smell wasn't any better than it was on our first date. If you would ask me why I didn't dump him yet, I must say I have no clue. What I also didn't know is that going last base meant that I would very soon meet his family.

But I did. Two days later, I got to know his crabs.

They were big. They were six-legged. And they were many.

Something had to be done. I bought some lotion to get rid of them, which was profoundly embarrassing for the sixteen year old version of me. I had the lotion, now I had to get him to using it too.

I didn't want to blame the guy right away, so I just told him that I found out I had those things and that it didn't make any sense for me to use the treatment if he wasn't doing so too. It seemed like he understood and agreed.

But then, after I had bought the lotion for him and had offered him a place where to apply it, he cheated.

He had gone into my bathroom, got out of there really soon and then said he had done it. I trusted him, but he was lying. How do I know he didn't truly do it? One week later all of his little friends were back!.

I still didn't want to blame him though. I thought maybe the lotion wasn't strong enough. I went to the pharmacy and explained the whole story to the girl there. She gave me a different thing this time, so aggressive you couldn't leave it on your skin for longer than fifteen minutes.

We repeated the whole scene again. Talking, giving him the lotion, he pretending he put it on...

One week later though, while sitting on the couch, I saw something on his arm. I recognized it as one of those little suckers right away. I scratched it and, voilà!. On my nail, a little insect shaked his many legs in fear and awe.

I was so incredibly disgusted and angry.

I showed the poor thing to him, then threw it to his face and told him to leave immediately. I told him I never wanted to see him again, that even getting close to him would cause my stomach to turn.

I know I was a little bit harsh. But, come on: he stinked, didn't wash his dick properly and had given me crabs three times.

It was very traumatizing. Still today, so many years later, whenever I see a black spot on my skin I panic and rush to check if it's alive or not.

You can continue with chapter 4 here.