This week I had a threesome for the first time in my life. It has never really been one of my fantasies, but now I'm sure it will take some time before I go to Threesome City again. I should have known better, after all I always have trouble with the number three. Perhaps working on triangle relationships is one of my karmic missions for this life.
Anyways, I was at one of my favourite discos with some good friends. We were drinking, dancing, talking, having fun. I wasn't really looking for someone that night, still soon a guy appeared on my radar.
He was in his thirties. He had a flawless style, beautiful blue eyes and a great body. He was having a drink with some friend.
They were standing at a bar behind me, so I was unable to really make contact with him. Of course I could have switched places with one of my friends, but I didn't. He had already caught me twisting my neck to look at him twice, and a sudden position change would not pass unnoticed. It's the oldest trick of the world.
I hate seeing through someone's flirting moves so I take good care that mine are opaque.
I kept on doing my thing for a while until one of my friends told me that some guy at the bar was constantly looking at me. Given the fact they were standing right behind me, I'm sure you all know what part of me was being contemplated. I knew.
I made sure the guy my friend was talking about was the one I liked, and then just kept on dancing. I needed some time to make up a good battle plan.
Two o'clock at night and three Martinis aren't the ideal conditions for a stroke of genius though.
After discarding some absurd ideas I quickly finished my half-full drink and walked towards the bar, supposedly to get a new one. I had to wait a bit longer for my drink than I would if I had gone to the other, less crowded, very inviting and definitely closer bar but it didn't matter. The drink was not my main objective.
It took me some time but I managed to “casually” end up standing next to them. I acted as if I were unaware of their eyes on me and about to order a drink. Can I just thank my drama teacher at this point?.
Then the bartender came and I told him to get me whatever that guy was drinking. Then I turned to the left and said:
“I hope what you're drinking is good. I'm getting the same.”
He laughed and said I had a lot of courage. I wondered what he meant. When my drink arrived, it turned out to be whisky on the rocks. Great. I should have known this could (and probably would) turn against me.
“Oh well” I thought “Let's just laugh about it. Besides, it gives me more flirting possibilities than if I had liked it”.
And that's how we engaged in conversation. After some very nice chat he introduced me to the other guy. His very grumpy boyfriend. That made me feel quite disappointed, I actually liked this guy.
“Oh damn, I thought we were on to something.” I bitterly said.
The first guy smiled and looked at his boyfriend for a moment before saying:
“Well, in fact we both really liked you. Why don't you come home with us?”
Even though somewhere deep inside I was expecting something like this I blocked. I hadn't been in this situation before and it caught me off guard. I told them that I had never had a threesome, but that I did like them (the first guy was very cool and his nagging wife wasn't ugly). I was gonna think about it for a while.
I went back to my friends. I told them what had happened and once they were updated, I started hearing my mother's voice inside my head.
“Once you go there there's no coming back! It's perversion! If you start with those things when you're young you will get tired of love for good! You will get syphillis!”
That voice spoke right to my fears. It made me think that something terrible would happen if I did it and I almost decided to reject the invitation. Luckily I reminded myself one of my biggest personal convictions, never letting fear stop me.
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”
Bernard Shaw
If I thought about it myself, I wasn't able to find any good reason not to do it. Seriously, what actual danger hides in having sex with two men instead of just one?.
After I had caged my fear, my curiosity started to become audible. That made me decide to do it and see what would come out of it. Maybe I was missing something fantastic, worth repeating in the future.
About half an hour later I came back to the couple and told them I was in. I was excited too.
I explained the whole story to my friends and wished them fun for the rest of the night as the three of us left the club.
They drove me to their house. Already on our way there, I started feeling I was in the middle of something. I couldn't really put finger on why but I felt quite uncomfortable, and the source of this awkward feeling was not in me.
The first guy was still very talkative and open. His boyfriend, on the other hand, didn't say a word during the whole car ride. I had a hunch this couldn't be any good, but I ignored it hoping it would all work out well.
We arrived to their beautiful appartment. They made me sit on the couch, between both of them and started feeding me wine. I was genuinely thankful for that, for we were desperately in need of something that would relax the atmosphere.
Before I knew it, Guy#1 was kissing me. I wasn't even started enjoying it when Nagging-Wife turned my head in his direction and started making out with me. I thought I could feel how he was consciously trying to be fierier than his partner.
This structure repeated itself constantly, in crescendo, towards a finale worth of Puccini.
It happened when Guy #1 was finally on and in me. Our aria of (many) passionate centimeters of man ended abruptly and was followed by an intense, dramatic scene:
“You never try so hard with me”
I had totally forgotten about Nagging-Wife. When I looked past the body of my colossal lover, I could see him, sitting on a corner of the bed looking at us. He had already lost his hard-on, his dick hanging between his legs like a corpse for an extra dramatic effect.
Guy#1 sighed, got out of me, and turned around to face his partner.
Suddenly, I was lying naked and hard in the middle of a huge marital argument.
Nagging-wife turned out to be a great actress. Soon all kind of invitations to guilt flew around the stage, supported by some convincing tears. At the theatrically right moment she stood up, left the room and slammed the door behind her.
Guy #1 looked at me, sighed and silently lifted his shoulders.
“I'm very sorry. I'll call you a taxi. Of course it's on me... ”
I sighed too and nodded. Deep in my heart, despite the desdain I felt for Nagging-Wife's course of action, I could understand the way he felt. I started bringing my clothes together as Guy#1 followed him into the living room. I got dressed and tried to make myself as small as possible while leaving. When I was already halfway the door, I turned around and waved goodbye to my tragic hero. He waved back.
“What kind of person would dare to wave goodbye after I... ” I heard right before the courtain fell.
It had been a breath-taking play and I had to deeply inhale in the empty elevator. While waiting for the taxi, I tried to go over what had just happened. About how at first I thought I would be guest star for a night and ended up being the third wheel.
A friend once told me “In general, threesomes are a mechanism for a couple to exercise their complicity”.
Apparently their complicity needed a big boost. I wonder how it all ended. Maybe (almost hopefully) soon I will see my tragic hero again, alone, and we will end our act as it deserved to.
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